Being a Humble Parent

I would not describe myself as a smug person, but its becoming more and more apparent that I have problems with this.  Especially when it comes to parenting.  But the Good Lord has taken mercy on me (or on the people I quietly judge) and is actively buffing this character trait off of me.  I know this because it seems like every time I have been openly aware of feeling the “Look at me! I’m a parent and I’ve got my act together! Which is obvious by my kids outstanding behavior!” the Lord has been quick to make me feel like I have no business judging anyone, especially other parents.

Exhibit 1: I share this story because I feel like it’s the point when I first became aware that God was trying to teach me something.  We are at a park with another couple and (not naming names but you know who you are) their child pooped on the slide.  Not a little, but A Lot.  Clean up involved using toilet paper from a groddy public restroom and walking the child back home.  I remember feeling smug, Cedric never did stuff like that.

Until the next day, when he pooped TWO TIMES on the floor.  Why? Basically he just didn’t want to stop whatever activity he was doing to go to the bathroom.  Twice.  Have mercy!   The second time I was cleaning poo off the floor I had the thought go through my mind, “I have no business judging because it doesn’t matter how good of a parent you are, with kids, crap just happens sometimes.”

Exhibit 2: Yesterday the weather was fine and lovely so I put Eli in the stroller and let Cedric ride his bike after lunch.  After 3 blocks he was ready to turn around and go home for quiet time.  Yes, sometimes he is that kid who will say that he is tired and actually want to go to sleep.  So we turn around and he races down the block and speeds right through the cross walk into the next block.  Crossing the street without a grown up is Huge No-No.  I had prided myself that I had put enough fear in him about how badly it would hurt to get hit by a car that he would never mess up.  When I catch up with him, I am very stern and remind him about the horrors of death-by-car, and that when we get home he will be in trouble.

He rides to the end of the block and waits for me, like normal.  But while he is waiting I see a couple start talking to him.  When I reach the corner I’m assailed with, “You ‘is mom?  Oh good, ‘cause we was wondering whereisyourparentsat?! Thank goodness he knows to stop before the street but we was still wondering whereisyourparentsat?”  I look at the man talking to me.  He has an open beer in one hand and some teeth missing and a giant marijuana leaf on his shirt.  Public drinking, drug sympathies, and bad grammar; he has reached the trifecta of “bad parenting” in my judgment. And he is making me feel like an irresponsible parent.

I thank him for looking out for Cedric and he quips “Oh is no trouble.  You know this is a nice residential neighborhood.”   That God is trying to teach me something about judging is painfully obvious to me.  I’m pretty sure I walked the last block with my head hung.

I’m trying to remember every day that everyone is struggling with something and to extend grace before judgment.  Especially to parents.

Busy Weekend!

It was a busy weekend here.  But not the kind of busy where you feel anxious over everything to be accomplished and hurried from one activity to the next.  It was the kind of busy where every day had an activity and it was fun.

Friday was my first parent-teacher conference at Cedric’s new school and it went well.  Gone are the days when he uses his fingers for guns to shoot peers.  Thank Goodness!  His teacher had lots of encouraging things to say about him, including that she thinks he is gifted in math.  Apparently on day 1 he took this and that and combined them together to make a complex tower of his own accord.  Wow. 

Eli had a play date with Baby Miles (who he shares a birthday with).

That night we had deep dish pizza and wings from Pi and watched the Cardinal’s win the World Series! Go Cards!

Saturday morning we were up bright and early to cheer on Zach and his sister who ran in a 5k. (FYI Zach is holding my coffee – his post run drink was water.)

This was another really fun race experience.  They offer a stroller run/walk and a kids run/walk, which I am tempted to participate in next year.

Way to go guys! We are proud of you!

Sunday we took Cedric, Eli and Cousin Eden to Ghouls in the Garden.  It was a fun, non-scary event where Cedric and Eden had a good time running around in their costumes collecting candy.

This is the face Cedric makes when he is scared (according to him).

I call this one, Dinosaur-Mid Flight.

Here is Super Bunny taking a quick rest on a sheep.

It rained on us a little but Eden enjoyed catching raindrops like snowflakes.

Eli enjoyed watching everything from the stroller.

But wait! That’s not all!  Zach went downtown Sunday afternoon to watch the Cardinal’s World Series victory parade.  Here are some of my favorite pictures he took.

Mark McGuire and sons.  I love that he is taking pictures of us who are taking pictures of him.

Albert and family.

Looking down Market St towards the Arch and a sea of red in support of the Cardinals.  It was a great weekend to live in St Louis.

Riding the Train

The Wabash Frisco and Pacific Railroad Association run a miniature train in Wildwood, Missouri.  For over a year I have wanted to do a family outing to this area so that Cedric could ride the train.

The train only runs May – October and only on Sundays.  This is part of the reason why we have yet to do it until now.  We have been going to a Saturday early evening service at church, so Sundays are less hectic and we are more likely to do family outings.

This turned out to be a great family outing. 

The train is a 30 minute ride in “open cars” through woods . . .

along the scenic Meramec River.

Its complete with lots of train things like signals, sidings, turntables (not wheelhouse – my mistake), and bridges.

And lots and lots of beautiful scenery. 

For my train aficionados this was pure awesome.

We will definitively come back in the Spring when Eli will enjoy it more. He spent the entire ride asleep in the Ergo.

From Tricycle to Pedals

When Cedric turned three his Aunt and Uncle gave him a pedal bike and helmet.  Cedric was over the moon for it and in no time we were passing on his tricycle to his cousin.  This Spring when the weather turned nice we started riding the pedal bike with training wheels outside on a regular basis.

In my experience training wheels are of the devil.  Yes it sounds extreme but for us training wheels only taught Cedric to fear.  He was afraid of falling, he had a hard time keeping his balance and was afraid of the rocking motion that happens with training wheels.  Then one time he clipped the curb with a training wheel and it got bent.  Now the wobbling and fear of falling was multiplied. 

This all came to a head one afternoon not long after having Eli, Cedric was riding his bike down the block, I’m pushing the baby in the stroller, and walking the dog.  After the third or fourth wipe out, Cedric just gave up.  His confidence was just worn down to nothing.  That left me pushing a stroller, holding a leash, and coasting the bike back home.  I marched in the door in a huff and immediately bought a balance bike.

With the balance bike Cedric learned to balance overnight.  Literally.  In the span of a couple hours he got the hang of coasting.  He rode this bike everywhere over the summer.  His ability to coast on the balance bike is pretty cool – he can go a long way.  The balance bike increased his confidence.  He believed he could ride a bike!

After a few feats of daring on the balance bike (speeding down long ramps, jumping off of low steps) Zach thought we should give the pedal bike another try.  He took off the training wheels and took Cedric out to the school parking lot across the street.

Just watch the video.  Ignore my giddy voice.  I’m a giant dork.

Mr. C Turns 4

For Cedric’s fourth birthday we had two small gatherings, rather than one large party.  We celebrated at my parents farm and had a dinner at our house with Zach’s family.  Cedric specifically wanted a few things, a cake with monster trucks on it (see above picture – yes I did this myself), Gordon, Old Hiro, and a rock throwing machine.  When asked for more details about the rock throwing machine, he described it as something with a long arm that would throw rocks into the sea. 

Anybody?

Since we live in a land locked state, that was one wish unfulfilled.

Here is the birthday boy sporting his headphones.  These have greatly increased his quality of life!  Normally he would be stuck inside whenever the lawnmower or tractor are running (not to mention chainsaw and wood splitter) because of the noise.  But with the headphones he now has in his words, “Big, Strong Ears!”

We had a lovely little party at our home the following weekend.  Cousin Eden gladly helped Cedric open presents.  And since the monster truck cake had been made, I whipped up a batch of these cupcakes.  They may be the best cupcakes I’ve ever made.

Cedric and Eden love books.  Here they are reading at Cedric’s party.  When books were opened they both just stopped and looked.

Here they are at Eden’s 3rd birthday party.  Same thing happening.  Present opening stops to look at books.  Hilarious.  And awesome too.

Here are Cedric’s stats from his 4 year well-baby visit, where he did call our pediatrician (Dr. Molitor) Sir Topham Hatt.  Our pediatrician looks NOTHING like Sir Topham Hatt.  It was hilarious.

Height: 42.5 inches (90th percentile), Weight: 40 lbs (75th percentile)

First Day of School

This morning was Cedric's first day of pre-school. And I am a hot mess. But its not what you're thinking. I wasn't super emotional or weepy or even nostalgic over the fact that what was once a mass of cells in my abdomen is now going to school.

Nope, I'm a hot mess because .... well its a long story. It starts last Friday when Cedric went to his school for a few hours for new student orientation. When I picked him up his teacher told me that he had used his fingers as guns to shoot at another student. Then when she tried to correct him, something along the lines of "We leave our guns at home..." Cedric told her no and swung his hand through the air. Like, if she had been closer or he more inclined, he would have walloped her good.

My reaction was shock and dismay. How could my sweet, gentle giant of a child be violent. How could what was once a mass of cells in my belly be so disrespectful to authority. In about 30 seconds I questioned every decision I had made and blamed his Dad for ever playing a video game in front of him, as well as every boy in daycare who was obsessed with Iron Man, and his Uncle Peter who one time let him watch about 10 minutes of Band of Brothers.

On top of this I already felt like a child intruding on a grown-up party. Seriously I feel about a decade younger than the other parents who are dropping off 3-5 year olds. Its weird.

So that brings us to Monday morning. I plan to arrive good 15 minutes early to give Cedric time to acclimate to his classroom and exchange a few words with his teacher. Its really important to me that she know that I am a competent and responsible (read "good") parent who isn't letting TV raise her kid.

Instead I am frantically searching the house for my car keys, only to realize that more than likely they are with Zach on a flight to Baltimore. I put Cedric in the stroller, strap Eli to me in the Ergo and hoof it the 6 or so blocks to his school. Instead of being there early we arrive just in time. Instead of having time to adjust to his classroom, I basically army march my baby into the room and sit him down in the first gap I find for circle time. Then I rush a goodbye, love you, no guns, be kind, etc. and dash out. Then its the awkward walk through the other parents who in my opinion have their acts together, whose house keys are not crossing over the Appalachians, who are sipping coffee, chatting about their Summers.

Walking home it starts to rain. Literally. So by the time I get home I am no longer just a hot mess but wet too.

***********************

Update: Zach just called. My keys were hanging on a key hook by the front door. But in my defense they were under Cedric's Cardinal's hat.

Summer Time...

and the livin' is easy.

140, 40, 7, 6, 3

This post is all about the numbers.

Its been 140 days since my last post where I announced that we are expecting a baby in May. A lot can happen in 140 days. This may be the understatement of the year.

For instance I was challenged to learn how to make macarons. The French version. The incredibly fussy, its the hardest thing I have ever made version. Its true I never shed tears during the process; unlike the lemon tart that I ruined driving it to a party or the beef burgandy that ended in disaster 10 minutes before company came over for dinner. But still, I have never had to give something 3 attempts before I felt like I was getting the hang of it.

I made pistacho macarons with chocolate ganache frosting.

And lemon macarons with vanilla bean buttercream. They are pretty. They are also incredibly tasty. I think I will make them again. Some day. These days I find myself thinking about making stuff like this.

40 days of Lent came and went. This year I focused on prayer and feel like the Lord revealed some more of His perspective on suffering. More about this later, as I have lots of thoughts to digest and put to paper...err....blog post.

7 items still on my master to-do list before Wednesday. Some are easy, like putting a trash can in the bedroom. Others are more time consuming, like finishing the layout and wordsmithing of the baby announcements. I was inspired by the birth announcement for my Aunt Susan that her father came up with when she was born several decades ago.

Speaking of which, there are only 6 days until this baby will be here. This makes me both full of anticipation because I can not wait to meet this little guy AND full of holy-smokes-we-have-so-much-to-do and I am So Tired, how will it all get done?

There may be some half-priced Starbucks involved.

And while we are on the subject of this baby, we have no idea what to name him. Last night we whittled the list down to 3. Today I was ready to chuck them all out and start over. You can read more about our name saga here. What is currently written on the board; Logan, Desmond, and Roland. Thoughts??

140 days has brought a change of season and big changes for Cedric too. We just went through a stuttering stage. Its adorable to me. You can see it in his face that he has LOTS to say but just gets hung up on the first syllable or even the first word. For example:

Hey, hey, hey, hey what's happening? Are those men building something with that boom lift and skidstear?

The stuttering never bothers me - it usually goes away in a few weeks and it usually indicates that he is going through a language development burst. Today he pointed out a picture of an apple looking at a peach and asked me what I thought they were thinking about. He's never asked something like that before or indicated that he understands other people (or apples/peaches) may have their own thoughts/perspectives.

So I guess that leaves me with 1 - 1 new thing that my 3 year old did to amaze me.

Our Dinosaur

Friends of mine have a daughter whose birthday is October 30th and for a few years now they have celebrated her birthday on Halloween with an evening party that ends in trick-or-treating. What a fun birthday! Cedric was very excited about the birthday party + trick-or-treating. He was ready to put his costume on and go as soon as he woke up from his nap.

By the way, he ended up being a dinosaur because in his words "Dinosaurs have bery loud teeth and go 'ROAR'!"

He had a great time at the party even though most of the children were older. They played a game where the kids popped balloons that were filled with pencils, tattoos, etc with a tack and Cedric was both fascinated and freaked out. My gentle giant still does not like load noises.

He did really well trick-or-treating too. I think next year we will work on a joke to tell. Its tradition here that after you say "trick-or-treat" you proceed to tell a joke before getting candy. A good joke should be handsomely rewarded. Its a St Louis thing and even though when we first moved here I thought it was odd, its really grown on me. Now I think its pretty cute.

Carving a Pumpkin

I honestly can't remember if we carved pumpkins on Cedric's first Halloween. I know Zach and I spent hours decorating spooky cupcakes for a party but honestly I was getting such little sleep then, its impressive I can remember that.

Last year we were more focused on teaching Cedric proper trick-or-treating technique. He wanted to go into every house. Going from house to house was exhausting and he only sort of understood that he was getting candy. It wasn't until we were home and opened some for him that he was really excited.

But this year he was much more aware of Halloween. He would get so excited when he saw a jack-o-lantern or notice the decorations at homes around the neighborhood. He was also really, really excited about getting candy. The conversation about what he wanted to dress up as for Halloween went something like this:

Me: Cedric what do you want to dress up as for Halloween?
C: Dress up?
Me: Yes, you dress up as something like a dinosaur and say "trick-or-treat" and people give you candy.
C: Candy!
Me: So what do you want to dress up as?
C: Candy.

We also carved a pumpkin this year. Husband is actually quite good at this. In our first few years together we would carve some elaborate pumpkins. This year we decided for a simpler, more classic pumpkin design.

Its important to be properly hydrated before carving.

Cedric wanted his dad to be very careful with the knife.


In his words "They are bery sharp and could take your hand right off!"
We take knife safety very seriously in this house.

He did not want to touch the insides of the pumpkin. But with the spoon did help clean it out.

Here is the finished product! The middle section was not structurally sound so it had to be reinforced with tooth picks, but I thought it turned out quite nice.

In case you can't tell, its a crescent moon with three bats.

A Summer Dream Come True

Ever since the Cardinal's season began last Spring, Cedric has been really into baseball and The Cardinals. He loves the Cardinal books at his school. He has 4 Cardinals shirts that he wears constantly. On the rare occasion when all 4 have been dirty, it is with a sad and heavy heart Cedric must pick out a different shirt to wear. The disappointments which this young boy has been made to endure!

Zach and I had planned to take him to a game when tickets came up on Groupon, but sadly Cedric got sick and Zach ended up going with his brother. But the week of his birthday, Zach and I decided to try the $5.50 ticket promotion through a local radio station and take Mr Cedric to an afternoon game.

To say he was excited is an understatement.

Right after we walked through the gates into the stadium we saw Fredbird. Cedric recognized him and ran right up to him. This is not typical Cedric behavior! He showed Fredbird his Cardinal's hat and shirt and was so busy talking, I never could get him to turn around for a picture with him and Fredbird facing me.

Here we are at our $11 seats - which turned out to be great seats. We were in the outfield near the first base foul poll and best of all, in the shade. Afternoons in August can be a tad uncomfortable in St Louis.

Some action shots! Pretty sure this is Pujols up to bat.

These guys have amazing reflexes. He pulled up to avoid being hit with a 90 mph pitch. No way could I do that.

Here's the reason why I love a baseball game. The uniforms. They are Great. If Zach ever plays in a baseball or softball league again I may have to insist that he wear some baseball pants.

A New Bike

We are really blessed to live near family. Understatement of the year. Cedric's Uncle Brad and Aunt Sylvia got him a bike, complete with a helmet for his birthday. Cedric has been asking for a "big bike" with a "helmet hat" for a while. So last week at our earliest convenience, we crashed Aunt Stephanie's birthday to go to a park and try out the big boy bike. He did great! Even rode at least 0.5 miles before I called it quits - it was time for lunch and he was really hot.

He started out going slow and cautiously staying with Aunt Steph and Eden.

But before long his confidence was up and he was zooming away.

Eden: "Say-gook! Come back!" And then "Momma, push faster!"

What a hot tired boy but he was so proud to ridden so far all by himself. I can't believe it. Not bad for a newly turned 3 year old. I still have plans to try and convert the bike into a balance bike like this one but for now even riding with training wheels is pretty fun.