Being a Humble Parent

I would not describe myself as a smug person, but its becoming more and more apparent that I have problems with this.  Especially when it comes to parenting.  But the Good Lord has taken mercy on me (or on the people I quietly judge) and is actively buffing this character trait off of me.  I know this because it seems like every time I have been openly aware of feeling the “Look at me! I’m a parent and I’ve got my act together! Which is obvious by my kids outstanding behavior!” the Lord has been quick to make me feel like I have no business judging anyone, especially other parents.

Exhibit 1: I share this story because I feel like it’s the point when I first became aware that God was trying to teach me something.  We are at a park with another couple and (not naming names but you know who you are) their child pooped on the slide.  Not a little, but A Lot.  Clean up involved using toilet paper from a groddy public restroom and walking the child back home.  I remember feeling smug, Cedric never did stuff like that.

Until the next day, when he pooped TWO TIMES on the floor.  Why? Basically he just didn’t want to stop whatever activity he was doing to go to the bathroom.  Twice.  Have mercy!   The second time I was cleaning poo off the floor I had the thought go through my mind, “I have no business judging because it doesn’t matter how good of a parent you are, with kids, crap just happens sometimes.”

Exhibit 2: Yesterday the weather was fine and lovely so I put Eli in the stroller and let Cedric ride his bike after lunch.  After 3 blocks he was ready to turn around and go home for quiet time.  Yes, sometimes he is that kid who will say that he is tired and actually want to go to sleep.  So we turn around and he races down the block and speeds right through the cross walk into the next block.  Crossing the street without a grown up is Huge No-No.  I had prided myself that I had put enough fear in him about how badly it would hurt to get hit by a car that he would never mess up.  When I catch up with him, I am very stern and remind him about the horrors of death-by-car, and that when we get home he will be in trouble.

He rides to the end of the block and waits for me, like normal.  But while he is waiting I see a couple start talking to him.  When I reach the corner I’m assailed with, “You ‘is mom?  Oh good, ‘cause we was wondering whereisyourparentsat?! Thank goodness he knows to stop before the street but we was still wondering whereisyourparentsat?”  I look at the man talking to me.  He has an open beer in one hand and some teeth missing and a giant marijuana leaf on his shirt.  Public drinking, drug sympathies, and bad grammar; he has reached the trifecta of “bad parenting” in my judgment. And he is making me feel like an irresponsible parent.

I thank him for looking out for Cedric and he quips “Oh is no trouble.  You know this is a nice residential neighborhood.”   That God is trying to teach me something about judging is painfully obvious to me.  I’m pretty sure I walked the last block with my head hung.

I’m trying to remember every day that everyone is struggling with something and to extend grace before judgment.  Especially to parents.

Busy Weekend!

It was a busy weekend here.  But not the kind of busy where you feel anxious over everything to be accomplished and hurried from one activity to the next.  It was the kind of busy where every day had an activity and it was fun.

Friday was my first parent-teacher conference at Cedric’s new school and it went well.  Gone are the days when he uses his fingers for guns to shoot peers.  Thank Goodness!  His teacher had lots of encouraging things to say about him, including that she thinks he is gifted in math.  Apparently on day 1 he took this and that and combined them together to make a complex tower of his own accord.  Wow. 

Eli had a play date with Baby Miles (who he shares a birthday with).

That night we had deep dish pizza and wings from Pi and watched the Cardinal’s win the World Series! Go Cards!

Saturday morning we were up bright and early to cheer on Zach and his sister who ran in a 5k. (FYI Zach is holding my coffee – his post run drink was water.)

This was another really fun race experience.  They offer a stroller run/walk and a kids run/walk, which I am tempted to participate in next year.

Way to go guys! We are proud of you!

Sunday we took Cedric, Eli and Cousin Eden to Ghouls in the Garden.  It was a fun, non-scary event where Cedric and Eden had a good time running around in their costumes collecting candy.

This is the face Cedric makes when he is scared (according to him).

I call this one, Dinosaur-Mid Flight.

Here is Super Bunny taking a quick rest on a sheep.

It rained on us a little but Eden enjoyed catching raindrops like snowflakes.

Eli enjoyed watching everything from the stroller.

But wait! That’s not all!  Zach went downtown Sunday afternoon to watch the Cardinal’s World Series victory parade.  Here are some of my favorite pictures he took.

Mark McGuire and sons.  I love that he is taking pictures of us who are taking pictures of him.

Albert and family.

Looking down Market St towards the Arch and a sea of red in support of the Cardinals.  It was a great weekend to live in St Louis.

Riding the Train

The Wabash Frisco and Pacific Railroad Association run a miniature train in Wildwood, Missouri.  For over a year I have wanted to do a family outing to this area so that Cedric could ride the train.

The train only runs May – October and only on Sundays.  This is part of the reason why we have yet to do it until now.  We have been going to a Saturday early evening service at church, so Sundays are less hectic and we are more likely to do family outings.

This turned out to be a great family outing. 

The train is a 30 minute ride in “open cars” through woods . . .

along the scenic Meramec River.

Its complete with lots of train things like signals, sidings, turntables (not wheelhouse – my mistake), and bridges.

And lots and lots of beautiful scenery. 

For my train aficionados this was pure awesome.

We will definitively come back in the Spring when Eli will enjoy it more. He spent the entire ride asleep in the Ergo.

Eli’s First Foods

Clockwise starting with banana, carrots, golden beets, sweet potatoes

The picture represents what I hope will be a week’s worth of first foods.  Not pictured is your standard rice cereal, parsnips, apples and pears.  I had already put them away and didn’t want to get them out for the picture.  I’m struck by overwhelming laziness sometimes.   There is also a pretty good chance I may eat the golden beets, this recipe is making me second guess giving them to Eli.

Eli’s first official food other than breast milk was mashed banana watered down with breast milk to be near liquid (on his 5 month birthday).  He was very excited to sit in the high chair and wear a bib.  Almost like he knew something different and special was going to happen.  When I showed him the spoon he was still and opened his mouth.  Then his eyes got big and he promptly spit it out.  Then mouth wide open for another bite.  Eli carefully moved the food around in his mouth and spit most of it out but wanted more.  I’m much more aware this time around of him learning.  In this case learning to use his mouth and tongue in a different way.  He also enjoyed the mess on the high chair tray.  It makes me think it might be time to make some sensory toys out of Ziplock bags.  (Like these.)

Overall it was a great first tastes experience.  But wow what a mess!  This mashed bananas “eating?” was followed by a good scrubbing in our deep sink.

Apple Butter Madness

This past weekend was Old Iron Works days back in my home town.  This is the third year my sister and I (with the help of our husbands, parents, siblings, aunts, and girlfriends) have demonstrated making apple butter in a kettle.  Making apple butter in a kettle is only fun if you have a small army of people!  Though we have done it with 5 people and that wasn’t too bad.  Cedric stayed with Zach’s parents for the weekend – THANK YOU Stephanie and Peter for driving him to their house.  Eli went to Old Iron Works and was seriously The Best Baby Ever.  Until the drive home, but that’s another story.

Here I am wearing Eli in the Ergo and nonchalantly handing money to my sister.

Grandma June supervising my Dad adjusting the fire.

Dad was in his element coaxing people to stir the apple butter.

My sister, the mastermind behind all this apple butter craziness.  Seriously you know its bad when you peel 144 pounds of apples and think, “Hey that only took a couple hours, we’re getting faster.”

I wish the Internet could have a scratch and snip option because this picture would smell like apples, cinnamon, and wood smoke.

“I have two teeth! Feed me!!” This is what I imagine Eli is thinking…

Maramec Springs is beautiful, especially in the Fall.

The Houghs surprised us with a visit on Saturday.

Minus my brothers, this is my family.  Right after this picture we all went our separate ways home.  Eli cried almost the entire way home – he had finally reached his “I’m done, people!” stage.  But poor little Riley-Roo blew chunks leaving an entirely different kind of smell in my sister’s car. 

At the end of this weekend, I always feel like I never want to do this again.  But even just a few days later when I look back I think, “That wasn’t too bad, and next year the kids will be older and it will be easier.”   Is this normal?

From Tricycle to Pedals

When Cedric turned three his Aunt and Uncle gave him a pedal bike and helmet.  Cedric was over the moon for it and in no time we were passing on his tricycle to his cousin.  This Spring when the weather turned nice we started riding the pedal bike with training wheels outside on a regular basis.

In my experience training wheels are of the devil.  Yes it sounds extreme but for us training wheels only taught Cedric to fear.  He was afraid of falling, he had a hard time keeping his balance and was afraid of the rocking motion that happens with training wheels.  Then one time he clipped the curb with a training wheel and it got bent.  Now the wobbling and fear of falling was multiplied. 

This all came to a head one afternoon not long after having Eli, Cedric was riding his bike down the block, I’m pushing the baby in the stroller, and walking the dog.  After the third or fourth wipe out, Cedric just gave up.  His confidence was just worn down to nothing.  That left me pushing a stroller, holding a leash, and coasting the bike back home.  I marched in the door in a huff and immediately bought a balance bike.

With the balance bike Cedric learned to balance overnight.  Literally.  In the span of a couple hours he got the hang of coasting.  He rode this bike everywhere over the summer.  His ability to coast on the balance bike is pretty cool – he can go a long way.  The balance bike increased his confidence.  He believed he could ride a bike!

After a few feats of daring on the balance bike (speeding down long ramps, jumping off of low steps) Zach thought we should give the pedal bike another try.  He took off the training wheels and took Cedric out to the school parking lot across the street.

Just watch the video.  Ignore my giddy voice.  I’m a giant dork.

Mr. C Turns 4

For Cedric’s fourth birthday we had two small gatherings, rather than one large party.  We celebrated at my parents farm and had a dinner at our house with Zach’s family.  Cedric specifically wanted a few things, a cake with monster trucks on it (see above picture – yes I did this myself), Gordon, Old Hiro, and a rock throwing machine.  When asked for more details about the rock throwing machine, he described it as something with a long arm that would throw rocks into the sea. 

Anybody?

Since we live in a land locked state, that was one wish unfulfilled.

Here is the birthday boy sporting his headphones.  These have greatly increased his quality of life!  Normally he would be stuck inside whenever the lawnmower or tractor are running (not to mention chainsaw and wood splitter) because of the noise.  But with the headphones he now has in his words, “Big, Strong Ears!”

We had a lovely little party at our home the following weekend.  Cousin Eden gladly helped Cedric open presents.  And since the monster truck cake had been made, I whipped up a batch of these cupcakes.  They may be the best cupcakes I’ve ever made.

Cedric and Eden love books.  Here they are reading at Cedric’s party.  When books were opened they both just stopped and looked.

Here they are at Eden’s 3rd birthday party.  Same thing happening.  Present opening stops to look at books.  Hilarious.  And awesome too.

Here are Cedric’s stats from his 4 year well-baby visit, where he did call our pediatrician (Dr. Molitor) Sir Topham Hatt.  Our pediatrician looks NOTHING like Sir Topham Hatt.  It was hilarious.

Height: 42.5 inches (90th percentile), Weight: 40 lbs (75th percentile)

Eli’s Four Month Review

Help my baby is growing!  Just kidding.  About the help part – growing babies are a-okay.  It must be intense to be a baby though; to go from a mass of cells to a squealing, arm flinging, feet kicking, smiling baby of four months is pretty amazing.  Eli’s four month well-baby visit was actually about a month ago, he will be five months on October 11th.  Crazy.

He was not very happy about being weighed and measured this time around so I don’t think these stats are accurate.  But nevertheless, here they are: (percentiles)

Weight: 17lbs 2oz (80%),  Length: 25 inches (50%),  Head Circ: 42cm (60%)

His pediatrician gave us the green light to start baby food but I haven’t yet.  Eli just did not seem ready at four months.  He has just started showing intense interest in what we are eating and making grabs for plates, cups, forks, etc.  I recently got Tyler Florence’s book Start Fresh and I am excited to make some baby food for Eli soon.  I’m thinking next week…

One of my favorite things about this baby?  The way his ears turn out at the top.

First Day of School

This morning was Cedric's first day of pre-school. And I am a hot mess. But its not what you're thinking. I wasn't super emotional or weepy or even nostalgic over the fact that what was once a mass of cells in my abdomen is now going to school.

Nope, I'm a hot mess because .... well its a long story. It starts last Friday when Cedric went to his school for a few hours for new student orientation. When I picked him up his teacher told me that he had used his fingers as guns to shoot at another student. Then when she tried to correct him, something along the lines of "We leave our guns at home..." Cedric told her no and swung his hand through the air. Like, if she had been closer or he more inclined, he would have walloped her good.

My reaction was shock and dismay. How could my sweet, gentle giant of a child be violent. How could what was once a mass of cells in my belly be so disrespectful to authority. In about 30 seconds I questioned every decision I had made and blamed his Dad for ever playing a video game in front of him, as well as every boy in daycare who was obsessed with Iron Man, and his Uncle Peter who one time let him watch about 10 minutes of Band of Brothers.

On top of this I already felt like a child intruding on a grown-up party. Seriously I feel about a decade younger than the other parents who are dropping off 3-5 year olds. Its weird.

So that brings us to Monday morning. I plan to arrive good 15 minutes early to give Cedric time to acclimate to his classroom and exchange a few words with his teacher. Its really important to me that she know that I am a competent and responsible (read "good") parent who isn't letting TV raise her kid.

Instead I am frantically searching the house for my car keys, only to realize that more than likely they are with Zach on a flight to Baltimore. I put Cedric in the stroller, strap Eli to me in the Ergo and hoof it the 6 or so blocks to his school. Instead of being there early we arrive just in time. Instead of having time to adjust to his classroom, I basically army march my baby into the room and sit him down in the first gap I find for circle time. Then I rush a goodbye, love you, no guns, be kind, etc. and dash out. Then its the awkward walk through the other parents who in my opinion have their acts together, whose house keys are not crossing over the Appalachians, who are sipping coffee, chatting about their Summers.

Walking home it starts to rain. Literally. So by the time I get home I am no longer just a hot mess but wet too.

***********************

Update: Zach just called. My keys were hanging on a key hook by the front door. But in my defense they were under Cedric's Cardinal's hat.

Eli at 2 Months

Stats (percentile):

Weight: 14lbs 4oz (90th)

Length: 23 1/2 inches (75th)

Head Circ: 40cm (75th)

Summer Time...

and the livin' is easy.

First Weight Check

Eli had his first week weight check at the pediatrician's on Tuesday. His lowest weight at the hospital was 7lb 8oz. Four days later he weighed in at 8lbs 7oz. It made me smile too.

Elias Jack

So here I am 38 weeks, 4 days pregnant. I finally broke and had Zach snap a picture of me before pregnancy number 4 was over.

Wednesday, May 11th at 9:59am our son was born. He weighed 7lbs 15oz and was 20 inches long. Name? Umm......

Roland? What about Nolan? Let's ask people and see what they say.

And wow, he looks a lot like Cedric when he was born!

By the end of the first day about 50% of people polled liked Roland and 50% liked Nolan. Absolutely not helpful. In my drug induced state I decided to text some of my closest advisers for their opinion. I texted 6 girlfriends and 3 were for Nolan and 3 were for Roland. Eee gads people!

Zach and his mother spend a few hours that night pouring over names. The next morning, Zach shows up at the hospital with the name Elias, nickname Eli.

And it just suits him perfectly. So meet my sweet baby boy, Elias "Eli" Jack. Its so nice to have you in my arms and no longer fighting with my internal organs for space!