Perserverance

Many of you may be surprised to see a new post show up in your Google Reader, but the time has come to bring the blog back from the brink, dust it off, and start posting again. I hit the pause button earlier this year to focus my writing exclusively on my dissertation and then when I was ready to jump back into things, there always seemed like So Much to catch up on.

Not knowing where to start can be overwhelming. But this evening draws us nearer to the climax of my favorite holiday (Easter) and I just can't let the season pass without recording some of my Lenten thoughts this year.

To celebrate Lent this year I thought it would be excellent to pray the hours. I bought a book to learn more about what the hours mean and for a little while I managed to live out a 24 hour cycle where 6 times a day I stopped (or woke up) to reflect upon the day, how I spend my time, and to be grateful for what I have been given. I'll be the first to say that this was an abitious endeavor. Eventually I gave up the 3 minor hours and focused on the 3 major ones. And even that was terribly hard to continue thoughout the 40 days. Overall I would grade my "sacrafice" a C; there was some meaningful effort but not a stellar performance on the whole.

But the effort was not fruitless. Having "the hours" on my mind did make me slow down and appreciate things in my day-to-day life that I have been glossing over. When I found myself in situations where I would normally get frustrated with how my time was being used (traffic jams, waiting a long time for appointments, etc) I would try to focus on how my time was not just about a to-do list or efficiency or productivity but about the work that the Lord is doing, both in my life and in the lives of the people around me.

I often go through my days with an independent, self reliant attitude and am positively startled if I bump into God along the way. Its like running into an old friend in a familiar place, "What?! You eat here too? I can't believe it."

But you know what can bring your whole life into focus, with a clarity sharper than high definition? Suffering. This Spring has brought a time of suffering to so many people that I love. Both Zach's brother and his sister experienced terrible losses this year. (Zach's brother was in a hunting accident that resulted in the loss of his foot.) Part of what makes these things so hard is that it seems like there is really no good reason why they happened. There are no decisions to point to and say "well if only..."

These events are hard to endure because we actively prayed for health (in the case of Stephanie's son) and healing (in the case of Brad's foot) and it feels like our prayers fell on deaf ears or were simply not powerful or effective. Lent h